Don’t Say These Things at CrossFit

There are just some phrases you just don’t say in a CrossFit gym. Best case scenario, you’ll earn some serious side eye from other members. Worst case? You earn a new nickname that you never live down, have to change boxes, and maybe go into witness protection.

Here are four things no one wants to hear at CrossFit:

One. “It doesn’t look that bad.” (said in reference to a new WOD)

“Five rounds of wall walks and dumbbell snatches? That doesn’t look too bad.”

You know what? Shut your mouth.

The CrossFit Gods are listening and they just heard you. They are currently placing bets on you throwing up in round two.

Two. “You’re almost there!”

This… This is the cruelest of lies.

When I am 3 rounds into a 10 round WOD, I am not “almost there.” I am dying a slow and painful death.

Unless there are 30 seconds left in the WOD, no one is “almost there,” and it is a violation of trust to tell me otherwise.

Three. “Where are the burpees?”

Anyone who points out the “missing burpees” might get tripped with a PVC pipe.  

Look, if a coach forgot to write it on the white board, it. doesn’t. exist.

Don’t be the kid that tells the teacher they forgot to assign homework. That kid is an a**hole that deserves a double burpee penalty.

Four. Rep math (especially at 5am).

If the WOD says three rounds of 15 burpees and 20 box jumps, DO NOT point out that what that really means is 45 burpees and 60 box jumps.

I don’t care if that’s reality. The first-round total was bad enough.

Not a single soul wants to hear the real total. Especially before the sun comes up.

What other phrases don’t belong at CrossFit? Leave them in the Comments below!

Happy sweating!



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